Complacency

The year is winding down, and it’s got me feeling impatient and a little exhausted. I honestly just think I’m ready to start fresh with a new year. Like most people, I feel more motivated at the beginning of a new year. 2019 has actually been the best year for me, and there’s still more events I’m hoping to be apart of before it’s over, but I just can’t shake this sense of complacency.

I think as an artist, designer, or any creative individual, the most unsettling spot you can find yourself is when you’re complacent. Things are going so well for you that you don’t realize how you’ve stopped growing …you’re not challenging yourself to be better…or to create something better. This is where I’m at. Don’t get me wrong; I’m extremely grateful for the business I’ve had this year and the many pop up opportunities I’ve been a part of…like I said, this was the best year for AVCD. I’m just not sure I’m where I want to be yet with all of this, and I’ve let myself down this year by not pushing myself.

So now that there’s only a few more months left in the year, I’m really trying to pick up my motivation and do something that I can be proud of before it’s over. I’m trying to decide if I can swing a Raw Fashion Show next month while trying to design gowns for the Muryl Jean Collection. I haven’t created pieces for this line in years…I think this is what I’ve been missing. I’ve been so focused on the selling aspect of my brand that I’ve forgotten how much I love making these gowns. Even if they’re just for the runway, they are my art, they are my dreams coming to life. In some weird way, creating for this line, has become a sense of self-worth for me….sounds kinda silly, but I’m sure other designers/artists understand what I mean by this. Our creativity is not just something we do…it’s who we are.

With only a handful of weeks left this year, I’m going to shift my attention to the Muryl Jean Collection. If the fashion show doesn’t happen, at least I have my gowns to kick off a new year. I can always showcase them in January or Feb for AVCD’s anniversary. I hope I can end the year with a collection I’m proud of and start a fresh year with new possibilities and opportunities.