I don't know if it's the weather, or if it's because the holidays are coming up, but I've just been in a funk lately. I've been lacking motivation, and I feel really guilty about it. The pressure of starting a new year has me a little stressed too. I have all these ideas that I want to run with at once, but I know I have to take my time and set them apart. And that kinda leaves me at a standstill because I'm not sure how I want to move forward with everything. It's hard to explain because of course everything makes sense in MY head, and sometimes that's hard to explain to everyone else. I just have to show you, and unfortunately that takes time.
I am excited to start a new year, but with that new year comes new goals and that's where the anxiety sets in. When I look at the entire year ahead of me it becomes overwhelming. I know I need to do more...search for bigger shows, sell more, be more active with my business. I need this to become my full time job, but is that gonna happen this next year? To be realistic...probably not. And that's a little heartbreaking to realize because I want that so badly.
I guess I've hit that point where most people ask themselves if this is really something they want because this is hard...it's very hard. And some days it feels like it doesn't even really matter. But I know I want this to work out; I've never wanted anything this much. I don't have any intentions of quitting any time soon, but I am more aware of how tedious and long the road is ahead of me. And I'd be naive to think it will get any easier. I guess I'm not really asking for it to get easier; I'm just asking that with each year I see progress and growth to know I'm on the right track.
I doesn't do me any good to worry myself with this because in the end I'm only going to get back what I give to this. For now I'm just going to take a deep breath, collect my thoughts, and make the best plan to move forward.
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